Author: Kate Tunney
This blog has hit a personal note with me. I struggled for days writing and re-writing; never feeling like the words were mine, or that I was being my authentic self. Months leading up to today I have been in a whirlwind of changes, and struggling through most of it. Then, last week, I had the honour of supporting my friend through the passing of her father. I felt depleted.
Earlier this week; I was ungrounded, unmotivated, uninspired, and desperate. I could not find myself amongst all these overpowering emotions. I needed to come home to myself. I utilized wellness to do just that; with nutrition, movement, connecting with others, and most importantly—through self-compassion.
In the initial stage, all I could manage was to get a good night’s sleep and plan some meals for the week. I bought some fruit and easy to prepare vegetables, then chose a simple stock pot recipe, and let it simmer as I slept. This provided healthy fuel to ground and energize my days. I worked hard to maintain my short morning ritual of meditation and journaling; although it did not always happen.
The idea of working out was too intense initially, so I walked. Leaving my phone at home, I walked and let my mind process the big events and changes I’ve been through. Soon I was back on my bike commuting as usual, eventually working on higher intensity bursts and crushing that next hill! Feeling the burn of my lungs and legs as I pumped hard brought me out of my mental turmoil—and finally—I started to feel more like myself.
I restocked the supplies I needed to make another big meal, one that would last the next few days. By this point I was craving the gym, and the feeling I got while lifting weights. I didn’t put too much pressure on myself, instead setting a goal to keep focus and to work all my body parts: lower, upper and core. I was finally at home again; in the body and mind I know.
For years, anxiety, depression and addiction ruled every day of my life. It is wellness, in all it’s levels, that brings myself out of these funks. The key is to proceed with self-compassion. To be a good friend to myself, and also connect with others. If it weren’t for some incredible insights I had this week from friends, this process would have been much harder. I believe we can’t do everything on our own, but we must learn our own wellness path; so that we can always come back home to ourselves.