Twelve years ago I had the privilege of walking with a precious friend, Lucie, a single mother of 3 beautiful children and her family, through the last few months of her life. Her crossing was a personally transformative time for me. To witness a soul so vibrant and full of life, cross over to the spirit world, was powerful but to watch and be with those who are left behind was so intensely painful and heartbreaking.
During this time I was invited to sit and face my desire and need to control ‘everything’. I remember feeling so attached to Lucie having the “perfect” death, deeply desiring her to have everything she wanted and needed in her passing.
Death is a journey not a destination; a lesson I had to learn to embrace and surrender to equally. I came to realize that the more I held on and tried to control, the more suffering and pain I held on to and caused to those around me.
Lucie asked me one early morning on one of her last days with us, “Why are you walking with me through this?” I answered simply; “walking with you in your dying is inviting me to live more fully.” I was a midwife in her passing and she was my midwife in living!
This journeying taught me so much about living in the moment, embracing life fully for what I have today and to surrender all that is to come to a greater source, for me, Spirit.
I personally gained a freedom or liberation for life through Lucie’s passing. The gift of loving and losing so deeply is the permission to open, to drop down into new aspects of my being and soul I had not dared explore before.
This required me to die also, not in body but in limiting thoughts and beliefs. I had to let go of stories I had come to believe about my world and myself, stories of fear, vulnerability and shame that held me back.
I learned that death and birth are an important part of awakening and coming home to our core essences. They are key rites of passage on a spiritual journey, and the soul has the capacity to move in and out of the depths of these passages.